Hey! I am so excited to share a bit of my life and thoughts about being a mama here in this space. I’m Jess, my husband is Thomas, we have two babies together and we are just trying our best to navigate this life of parenthood with as much love and laughter as we can because you know, this gig is not easy. We have a Four and a half year old girl Goldie and 16 month old boy River. Our journey started in San Diego, CA where we were married then shortly after Thomas and I moved to NYC where we had our Goldie girl. Two years later we pretty much moved to the middle of nowhere, a beautiful place called Montana where we had River. And here we still are, raising our nature babies at the foot of the mountains. I was asked by one of my biggest mama inspirations, Amber to talk about being a mommy but before I get started I wanted to tell you just a bit about us. I share a lot of our daily life on Instagram @sheandwolf. I am a vintage loving, yoga teaching mama. Thomas is a surfer, an adventurer, his last trip took him on a sailing trip a quarter of the way around the world. Goldie is a animal loving wild free spirit that has the largest imagination. She can play alone with her toys for hours, they all have roles and different voices, it’s so sweet to watch. River is our lover boy. He loves to give loves, dance and sing. His first and latest love is Santa Claus. He just went from saying “ha ha ha” to “ho ho ho” when he sees a Santa. Looks like we will need to keep a few Santa figurines around the house all year to keep him happy and us entertained.

Being asked to to speak about being a mommy....where does one begin? Well, I decided to talk about what is in my heart now and what’s on my mind. Right now, knowing that time is flying too fast with my babies and learning that documenting will keep those moments alive forever. When you take a photo of a precious moment, you can look back and get a taste of that beautiful feeling you had that day, in that very second. You can look at that image and it feels like it will forever live inside you.

The image below was last August on a trip to San Diego. River had just learned how to walk, and big sis Goldie was guiding him towards the water so he could feel the ocean on his feet for the very first time. He was a little wobbly but brave, confident because he knew he was safe with his big sister. I was so proud of Goldie, she loves showing him new things in life, a little mother hen. Watching their bond grow is definitely one of the most rewarding experiences as a mother. They play, they fight, they can make one another cry but at the end of the day all is always forgiven and that love is always there.

Once you become a mom, you here over and over again to hold the moments. The time will fly and before you know it, your babies will be all grown up and own their own. So, stopping to take the time to snag that photo is important to me.

With that being said, there is a balance being present and when to put down the phone and just be one with them. Get down on their level, roll around on the floor, get dirty with them. The day seems to flow so much easier, they get along better with that attention from mama and it helps me to be more at ease and free spirited. Gosh we can learn so much from them if we just stop and listen. Somedays it’s hard when we have a giant list of to dos and the house is a mess but when I do take the time to play, I never regret it. I try to do even just 5 minutes then I know I will not look back regretfully and think, well I had a clean house but I missed so many opportunities to be with them. It’s a choice of living perfectly imperfect in our home and trying our best to make our days happy ones.

Post bath play time to get all the wiggles out before bedtime. Captured, River’s first funny face while looking at himself in the mirror.

I hope you have enjoyed reading. As a mother that blogs I hope to shed light on motherhood and be real. I want to connect with you, learn from one another and lift each other up. I definitely do not have all the answers but I try to focus on the positive because being a mama is messy but I love it and I love sharing bits of my life with you.

I want to leave you with some of my favorite photos over the past few years that I charish and a poem that I read recently. It has actually helped me to stop more often with my babies because this poem helps you realize, all those rough moments as a mother they will not last, just like those sweet, tender moments you want to hold forever...they will not last. Nobody wants to look back and regret the things they didn’t do. So squeeze a little tighter, sing that ‘one more song’ at bedtime, because this time, might be the last time. I have to warn you, you may cry. I do every time I read it but I told myself it’s okay to cry, it’s because I love my babies so much, they are happy tears.

The Last Time

From the moment you hold your baby in your arms,
you will never be the same.
You might long for the person you were before,
When you have freedom and time,
And nothing in particular to worry about.

You will know tiredness like you never knew it before,
And days will run into days that are exactly the same,
Full of feedings and burping,
Nappy changes and crying,
Whining and fighting,
Naps or a lack of naps,
It might seem like a never-ending cycle.

But don’t forget …
There is a last time for everything.
There will come a time when you will feed
your baby for the very last time.
They will fall asleep on you after a long day
And it will be the last time you ever hold your sleeping child.

One day you will carry them on your hip then set them down,
And never pick them up that way again.
You will scrub their hair in the bath one night
And from that day on they will want to bathe alone.
They will hold your hand to cross the road,
Then never reach for it again.
They will creep into your room at midnight for cuddles,
And it will be the last night you ever wake to this.

One afternoon you will sing “the wheels on the bus”
and do all the actions,
Then never sing them that song again.
They will kiss you goodbye at the school gate,
The next day they will ask to walk to the gate alone.
You will read a final bedtime story and wipe your last dirty face.
They will run to you with arms raised for the very last time.

The thing is, you won’t even know it’s the last time
Until there are no more times.
And even then, it will take you a while to realize.

So while you are living in these times,
remember there are only so many of them
and when they are gone, you will yearn for just one more day of them.

For one last time.

Dirty after a long day of play in the summer sun

8 months pregnant with River. Watching Goldie play, I remember thinking....all the trials and good times in my life, have led me to this point right here... I wouldn’t change a thing. I felt so grateful.